"Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it."
Psalm 127:1
We have officially entered the new year 5782 of the Hebrew calendar today, the year of Pey Beth.
Shanah Tovah!
Unlike last year where I prayed for Father to show me what's in the coming year, I wanted to instead feel His heart. And since the month of Elul, the word that has kept on coming within me is "home".
Every song, every scripture leads me to this one thing.
Not a coincidence because the word Beth (the number 2 in Hebrew) means tent or house. But beyond just a house, Father wants us to build Him a home where He can be truly comfortable dwelling in. And I could feel His yearning to have a home within us, nowhere else than our heart.
Making a home for Father
For some reasons, in the past weeks, I was being reminded of the time past when things were much lesser in my life and they are simpler. I remembered the three months I spent all day all night sitting at His feet, by force not by choice. It felt forever that time and I couldn't wait to get out. But fifteen years later, I am yearning to go back to that time and space.
During those three months, I only wanted one thing. A job. How silly I was! Father was with me the whole time and instead of enjoying His presence and companion, His love and humour, I had my eyes on a job. Yet He was gracious and patient. And at the appointed time, He opened the door for what would be not just a job, but a career and destiny.
I found myself asking Him these days leading to the new year, "Can I go back to those days where I had little but so much of You?" It's so easy to be full of Him when we don't have much, isn't it? When the space of our heart was wide and spacious for Him to reign because we didn't have emails to reply, text to read, much money to spend and save, family to care for, children to raise, books to write, ministries to serve for, fashion to follow, and so on. You get the idea.
But more is not bad. It's a sign that we're growing and producing. Father wants that out of us as Jesus shared in the parable of talents. So obviously the answer is not to neglect our job, our family, and everything else that Father has entrusted to us.
The one thing
Yet this truth remains. Only one thing is needed. Like Mary who CHOOSES to sit at His feet and drink from Him. We need to take time to sit at His feet when the whole world is screaming for our attention. That should be our starting point. When and where, I trust Holy Spirit to guide you.
But for me, it's in the morning. Before I start my day. Before my mind gets filled with the to-do and I let Him work through me throughout the day. I just love the smell and the sound of morning, don't you? The quiet stillness. Where within seconds I could feel Him sitting right next to me. That feels like home. Feel so loved and so peaceful.
That doesn't end there. As I do my morning walk, I do it with Him. Sometimes I talk to Him, asking for advice or just pouring out my heart to Him. But often we just walk, enjoying each other's presence while we listen to birds chirping and warm sunlight embrace my skin.
In the evening, if it's my fasting day, I would go back to our meeting place and just commune with Him while my family enjoy their dinner, to then join them afterward. Throughout the day I would fill myself with worship songs or sermons He picks out for me.
And.. I am loving this life. A life where He's part of me, involved in everything I think and do. There's nowhere I'd rather be. I always tell my closest, "You do well if you are where God wants you to be and do what He wants you to do." Even if that means making dinner for your family faithfully everyday.
The next level
Going back to the question I asked Father above.
I did think of selling everything I have to follow Him wholeheartedly. That is doable if I am single. But He told me it's not the way. Because He's all about increase. As said it is easy to be filled with Him when we don't have much, but in the next season the challenge is how to be filled with Him when we have everything?
He then pointed me to the story of David and Esther. They were made royalty, had everything at their disposal, the finest on earth, yet all those things didn't consume them. Isn't that amazing?
What's the secret?
I truly believe it's because they have made their hearts to be single occupied by Father, that nothing in this world had any hold in their hearts. This is why Jesus said, "where your treasure is, there your heart also."
What is your treasure? What occupy your heart?
A simple acid test is to ask yourself if all those things are to be taken away, what would you feel?
That is also why Jesus asked the rich young ruler to sell everything he had if he would to be perfect (complete). Completeness can only be when Father is truly our all in all.
Interestingly, my heart has been seduced in a level that is unmatched in the past weeks. But at the same time, Holy Spirit has been enlightening my eyes and helped me to stay focus. To the point that when all else fades in the stillness of the morning or the evening and I am being asked, "what do you desire the most, My queen, and it shall be given you?", I come to the one thing.
I just want Him.
Royally His,
E.