Who you really are
Updated: May 4, 2020
"But we are citizens of Heaven." Philippians 3:20
This post is going to be quite personal. But I'm sharing because I want to impart to you what Abba has imparted to me. Freely I receive, freely I give. I pray that you catch the impartation.
It was one day before my birthday this year. A few days earlier He told me to read all the 37th chapter in the Bible. So that morning I was reading Genesis, Exodus, and Job.
I was trying to comprehend what He was trying to tell me because those 37th chapters were significant: Genesis 37 is about Josephs and his dreams, Exodus 37 is about the construction of the ark, and Job 37 speaks about the excellence and the mightiness of Abba.
My two-word assignment & calling
As I pondered about His words, I asked Him what He wanted me to do for Him, what my assignment was. Because since many years ago, I kept feeling that my destiny had something to do with Joseph. He's one of the characters in the Bible that I could relate to for what I've gone through in life.
Then I saw in my spirit that I was in the throne room of God. Abba was sitting on the throne and I was sitting next to Him, on His left. And in front of us, I saw many saints (God's people who are still alive in this world) walking around, doing their assignments. Some were in the missions field, some were helping the poor, and some were leading a ministry in a church.
So I asked Him, "Abba, how about me? What do you want me to do? What's my assignment?"
He answered me, "You just stay next to Me. Your place is close to My heart. I've given you the gift to know My heart and to convey My heart to the people. Cease from other worries and concerns. Just focus on staying close to Me so you can hear My heart."
Then immediately, I heard these two words: King's' advisor. And I knew it's my destiny/ purpose two-word. Last year I attended a fellowship where Ps. Jeff Yuen was speaking and he was encouraging us to ask God for the two-word of our destiny/ purpose. His was shifting nations. I had been asking for mine since then and finally He revealed it to me.
I put two apostrophes on the word King, because that's what I received from Abba two days later. He told me that I should go to whoever He sent me and whatsoever He commanded me, I should speak and that I should not be afraid at anyone's faces, regardless what their titles, even if they are kings, princes, or priests. At that point, I took it that my destiny was to be advisor to kings, whoever in a prominent leadership where Abba puts me in.
But then the Spirit showed me that the word king with a capital K: King, and reminded me of the King of Kings! I understood by then, why I was sitting next to Abba in His throne, that's where an advisor normally sits. But I know Abba doesn't need my advice because He Himself is wisdom! So I asked what the word advisor mean in this case. And the Spirit told me, "You are to intercede for the people, just like Abraham did."
So I understood why there were two apostrophes; King's' advisor. Not only I am to advise kings in this world, but I am to intercede for the people to Abba.
My real name and character
Around this time last year, my dear friend and fellow queen shared her experience of attending School of Intimacy in Bali led by Ps. Ankia Van Der Merwe. She told me that she's been given a baptism name, which is one of the characters in the Bible. When I heard that, I was asking in my heart, what my name would be. But I didn't pursue further the answer for what I was going through at that moment. But late last year, I asked Abba again. But no answer yet.
Somewhere around January this year, I was reading the book of Esther, and I heard a gentle whisper in my spirit, "You are Esther". I was taken aback. I didn't tell a soul because I thought that could just be me talking.
A few weeks later, I was just listening to a sermon by Ps. Bill Johnson and he was teaching from the book of Jude. Towards the end, he mentioned that Joseph, Daniel, and Esther were all not the number one person, but they're important influence to the king. That caught my spirit. Because I had been studying about who king's advisors in the Bible are: Joseph, Daniel, Jeremiah, Isaiah, Elijah, Elisha, Mordecai, Nehemiah, and all the prophets. But I missed Esther! She too was a king's advisor! That day, something in my spirit bore witness and somehow I knew I'm Esther.
To cut the story short, almost a month later, that was confirmed when I spoke with Ps. Ankia and with my fellow queen. She told me that as I was about to tell her my baptism/ Bible name, she heard in her spirit, "She is Esther."
Well up to that point, I thought that's just too cool and nothing could top that. I was wrong. Abba was (and still is) not finished revealing to me who I really am. The next thing He taught me about was on prophetic mantles. These mantles will complete the picture of my destiny/ assignment in this world and the world to come.
For me, He revealed that I carry the mantle of Joseph (rulership in marketplace or government, saving many during famine), of Paul (apostleship - evangelistic, building the house of God), of Solomon (wisdom and understanding), of David (worship, heart after God's own heart, kingly anointing), and of John (anointing of love, revelation about things to come in the end times).
What are all these for?
Within one year, Abba has transformed me to someone I previously would never have thought possible. He has shown me my real identity - my name, my character, my destiny, my purpose, and my assignment. And He's longing to do the same for you!
Knowing all this is nice, but there's a purpose behind it, we have an important part in His divine plan. Being a Christian is not just about receiving Jesus, being saved, and then go to Heaven. No, that's just the beginning. We all have an assignment in His Kingdom, and if we lay down our lives for Him and live for Him, we will rule with Jesus during the Millennial and after.
Adam lost this earth that God gave him and gave it to Satan. Jesus with His perfect and finished work at the cross has taken that right back and giving it to us, the church. But there are much works to be done to take this earth back. It's also about establishing His kingdom on earth. Literally that's what we will see happen during the Millennial rule of Christ and after Satan is cast down to Hell forever. There will be new Heaven and new Earth.
We need to know what we're fighting for! But before that, we need to know who we really are.
You're much older than you are
Did you know that you're a spirit being in Heaven long before you're sent to be born in this world?
About two weeks after my birthday, the Spirit told me, "Will you host Me?" I knew what He was asking about because I had been listening to Ps. Bill Johnson for quite a bit by then about hosting the Presence; he said, "the Spirit is in you for your sake, but He's upon you for the sake of the people around you." I knew that was about the baptism of Fire. I didn't answer it straight away, because I knew it would mean total death to myself.
The next day, the Spirit nudged me, waiting for my answer. So by faith, I told Him yes. But I asked Him why me. He told me simply because He had chosen me, that He delighted in me. At that point, I broke into tears. Then I heard the Spirit, "I like being with you." To which I replied, "I like you too", with much sobbing.
Then almost like watching a movie, I saw in my spirit that I was in Heaven, playing with Abba. We're laughing and playing in a garden in Heaven, and I could tell I was so, so close to Abba, like I was His favourite and only daughter! Then I saw Him asking me to go to this world, to be born as a human. He told me that I would not remember things of Heaven afterward, but He would find me and then I would come to remembrance of our close relationship as Father-daughter.
I didn't know what to make of that. Until yesterday.
I was just listening to a sermon by Rev. Neville Johnson from 2016 in one of the conferences that took place in the USA. And he was sharing how we're actually spirit being in Heaven long, long time ago, before we're born in this world. And that there's an agreement with God for us to be sent here. He then added that the revelations that we received, a lot of those were actually memories of the things we knew of Heaven - that's why babies and toddlers are much more in-tune of the heavenly things because these memories fade as we go older and the natural mind takes over. (I could relate to that! When my daughter was a few weeks old, we would find her giggling and smiling looking at the ceiling. And she would spread and move her arms as if she was copying an angel! At that time, I told my husband, "She can see angels!")
As I heard Rev. Neville, I felt a chain upon my spirit was broken. Whatever the enemy had been doing to stop me from knowing who I really am was broken! I know that whatever I have heard and seen are real, I am not crazy or imagining things! I am Esther, I'm a queen, a royalty, but most importantly I'm the beloved daughter of Abba Father. Oh how He loves me! In His eyes, I am perfect, with no spot or blemish!
Be heavenly minded!
If you're reading this, please know and believe He has the same desire for you! Seek Him and pursue Him. Listen and obey the voice of the Spirit and be heavenly minded. There's life after this worldly life. Our real home is not here, but in Heaven. As we become more heavenly minded, the thing of this world will lose its hold on us, more and more.
Behold Him, because we shall be transformed to be just like Him. The more we know who Abba is and what He's really like, the more we become like Him. God is love, perfect love. And when we know and embrace in our heart His love for us, this world will lose its hold on us. The opposite is true, when we don't know how much Abba loves us, we end up loving the world and the things of this world:
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
1 John 2:15
Afterward, we must take the step: our flesh has to die, we must consciously choose Him, above our flesh, above the things of this world - every single time. And that has to be reflected in how we spend our time, our money, our care, and our thoughts. Set your affection towards Him. He alone deserves it. And know this, you will not be shortchanged! His plan for us is glorious!
The Spirit has spoken, they who have ears to listen, let them listen.